Chuck

And it started with Elise saying "Mom! I can't go to the bathroom!" 

"Why not?"

"Because there's a lizard in there..it's on the toilet."

At this point during my afternoon coffee/tea withdrawal and general malaise, I would have been only slightly more surprised if the lizard had announced it's presence itself.

"OK Elise, let's take a look."

Indeed, there was a lizard sitting on the toilet seat staring back at me. 

"See? I told you so mom."

Dad is usually the designated insect (now we can add reptile) extricater but he of course was working so mom had to step in and do the dirty work. 

I'm not a very squeamish person. I can handle all sorts of disgusting matter and bugs don't tend to freak me out-except for bees.  When confronted with a bee I run in circles and scream with my hands in the air-Yes, I really do this.  And while this is off topic, they bother me almost as much as people who whistle.  Cringe.

Anyway, I decided to make the capture and release mission as swift as possible.  Rather than find a container to lure the beast into, I gently lifted it by it's tail. 
OK. Time for things I didn't realize:

1)Lizard tails are more fragile than I once believed (though I'm certain I have never given the matter much thought or consideration).  If they wriggle hard enough they SNAP! And there it was... 4/5 of a lizard running for shelter and the other 1/5 on the floor next to us. 

2)Perhaps the biggest surprise of the day was that lizard tails continue to move once they are separated from the rest of the body.  I knew this to be true with other creatures but was not, and neither was Elise-if I can speak on her behalf-prepared for this nugget of wisdom.

I watched in horror as it's tail undulated on the playroom floor, it's owner now cowering behind the computer desk.  Elise's eyes were wide with astonishment but more in the "oh man I can't wait to tell my friends at school about this" way.  The tail finally settled down after about 3 or 4 minutes, which seems like an eternity when you're watching a lizard tail.  I retrieved it's better half (or 4/5 as the case may be) and released it into the wild of our backyard. 

As Chuck scurried away I realized the tail was still in our possession so I quickly grabbed it and called out "you forgot something!"

Until something earth shatteringly (is that a word?) spectacular graces this family I will stick to the usual pablum...